Breathe Deeply

Finding it hard to catch my breath these days.  I reach deeply into the vessels of me that feel everything.  The part only I know well.  Gasping for understanding and support, clutching my chest begging the wind to fill my lungs. I know what I'm capable of and I know of my limitations. Right now, please, I just want to breathe easily. I know I can overcome the tightness in my chest. I am able to control how, when,   why or why not, just me... the only one with such power over myself (maybe with the help of a Dr. or two). Some may call it stubborn, I call it survival, self preservation.

 As each gulp of much needed air enters my body, I'm filled with reminders of just how to go about pulling the wind in and slowly releasing it. Long passionate breaths dedicated to the depths of my soul. Each breath brings strength and balance.  In and out, over and over, until the surge of air makes its way through the cobbled roads that lead to  my heart. I've arrived to a comfort of making my own choices, even when it's not what others would decide for me, especially when everyone else wants to make my choices for me.  For others seem to think they know what is best for me, but FYI,  only I know that.  I realize their gestures are with intents of love, however, the gestures are not without strings.  My kite flies, it soars, with strings attached I'm likely to end up caught in a tree.  The air is not so free when stuck in a tree.

When my chest tightens up and my breath is labored, I'm ready to spend that time as if it's my last, every day, each moment, I will spend as though it is the last, doing what I love, with those for whom I care to share the bits of me that are free.  Enjoying to the fullest... each breath I take, fearing not when passages get blocked.  Blockages considered as merely a slight delay,  a change of pace perhaps, or maybe they are challenges to push through and open new avenues with courage and an open mind.  Others who share my world... they know my ways and accept  that  wind gusts guide me  and float me to where I belong.  I follow the lead and when necessary I truly believe that I know when to step out of the draft and how to warm myself.  I'm no longer numb in this state of temporary panic, I'm able to hold myself and rock myself gently until those feelings of fear pass.  I see brighter and clearer than ever.    I am empowered by the knowledge that I have pushed myself to edges and faced the cliffs knowing I can fly with a courage so strong it surprises even me.  I just do what it takes to keep breathing deeply and follow my soul to the ends of my world watching over my young ones and guiding them to also follow their hearts and teach them to breathe deeply.  With breath comes life; to be lived to the utmost, comes power; to do the things that make you whole,  and comes balance; to find inner most peace, passion, spirituality, and focus.