It's that time again!

As the first test approaches I realize that I have accumulated far too many notes, and have far to few memories of what those notes actually say. I'm nettled by the smallest of things,(I guess my coping mechanism is to collect an abundance of information. I have committed far too many hours to writting a beautifully scribed, and eloquent 77 page revision of the textbook. By the night before the test I have finally completed an immaculately conceived outline.... and set out to actually read and study it. Maybe not the best sequence of events, but, well....anyway...this is it! Did I mention my notes were thoroughly exquisite?

Well, apparently the notes paid off...Not to mention, the fact that it was a multiple choice test. Yey Me! Oh, what a high! The drift carried me for days. Addrinalin filled the air as my self encouragement soared, and I began to move on to the next chapter. Again notes of detailed elegance.

Now, to give you a picture, the highs and lows of me (as I know we all experience), how quickly they come and go; I'm riding this rainbow, I've allowed it to color me with an array of different hues and various intensities.. first the bright and shiny sun lit hues and then entering the ominousity of the upcoming skies.(yes, I know it's not a word, but it should be!)

I should say, its holiday season for me, and basically this year... The New Year was mounded with excuses not to participate, ie. my parents out of town, germ and cough infested family, needing to go to class (which I've vowed not to miss), and yes, the avoidance of the upcoming chapters of the future. Funny how I get so much guilt stuff done when there is something else I'm trying to avoid starting.

Feeling alone with the latest Chapter in my class; "Learning." oh...how ironic! Yet, as I always try to encourage myself to do in these distressful times..., I find the silver lining.... as tears of... "reasons unknown",...and... "what if I can'ts,".... accumulate,and flow down my face, the thoughts of finally learning to learn challenges me to a duel and I accept the challenge with revenge.

As I was saying, before, I think...! My attention...gone with the wind. which...so regularly interferes in maintaining my complete thought process....blown away, anyway...the challenge is on!